STAND TALL LIKE A TREE

Tree Pose, a yoga pose, used for balance that requires the yogi to stand tall on one foot with the other foot pressed against the inner thigh and arms stretched upward. 

I personally love Tree Pose. It makes me feel strong, grounded, and childish again (alive). 

When I reflect back at my last fitness retreat that I lead in February, before COVID-19 came crushing into our lives, I find myself feeling incredibly fortunate. Fortunate that I got to experience Guatemala pre-pandemic and that I shared this journey with nine other exception warriors that I now call my friends. 

As a group we shared so many highs and lows in 7 transformative days. 

One of my highs and lows was on the same day, when we volunteered at a Mayan preschool in Lake Atitlan.  Our day started by helping the children craft an artwork and ended with a kid’s yoga class. That’s right! I lead my first ever kids yoga and I fucking loved it! We laughed, we danced, we moved and we learned from each other.

But let me tell you the real truth on how I felt when I entered the Mayan preschool. I felt awkward and totally out of place. 

When we entered the school grounds, it was like on cue, that three little boys came rushing to greet us and hug us. Here is were I felt awkward. Ever since I started planning for this retreat, I knew I wanted to add a day of giving back.  I had been looking forward to this day for months and in matter of seconds; my inner dialogue was judging my first impression. After discussing the mission of the program, where our donations would go and how our school supplies would be distributed, we were introduced to the kids and teachers. We sat next to the kids and helped them with their arts and crafts project. 

At this point my inner dialogue was all over the place with questions such as: Is it appropriate for me to touch this child? Should I guide him with his pen or let him figure it out? Should I help him cut those corners with the little scissors or let him be independent? Is he aware of our cultural differences? What is he thinking of me? What would his mom think of this? How are we helping?

Here is where I felt out of place. But more like holly fuck, Esther, shut the fuck up… get a hold of yourself! 

While my inner dialogue kept running unchecked, my new buddy and I didn’t follow any of the instructions of the arts and crafts work since we were always a few step ahead creating our own path. Either my competitive edge and rebellious self rubbed off on him or we were perfectly matched since we finished way before the other kids did. As we were playing with the artwork while waiting for others to finish, I noticed the mom’s of the kids were starting to arrive to pick up their kids. They sat behind us and when I turnaround to see them, their faces were beaming with so much love, joy, and pride.  It was at this very moment, that I knew we were exactly where we were supposed to be, making a difference. Their expressions reassured me why we came in the first place and that we were making a local impact far more than our supplies and donations would ever reach.

We gifted each child 100% with our devoted attention and exposed them to a world outside of their own.

Once all the kids finished their artwork, we went outside for my yoga class, and boy did the mom’s had a good time giggle at us. We exposed the mom’s too, to different kind of women moving in ways they had never seen before.  Laughter is a universal shared expression of joy and we accomplished just that with simple yoga poses of animals, warriors, planes, sun, moon and earth.

Teaching yoga at the Mayan preschool that day was one of those aha moments that keeps inspiring and shinning on my life today. 

As we adjust staying at home and practicing physical distancing to keep our communities safe from COVID-19 pandemic, my aha moment has served me these past 5 weeks in our lock down to remind me that I am strong, grounded, alive and making an impact. We don’t have any control right now nor do we have any answers.  Just like how I felt initially when entering the Mayan preschool.  So I close my eyes to remember the expression of infinite love on the Mayan mom's faces and I feel reassured that we are all helping and making an impact globally.

During this pandemic we might all be feeling that we are not doing enough or not contributing enough. I want to reassure you that you are as this is a new experience for all of us. We need more than ever to feel empathy for others and ourselves. We are all truly doing our best with no control and without any answers.

Keep finding your way through this extraordinary situation. Stop following fear and start thinking what you want to be thinking. I am strong, grounded, and alive.

Stand tall like a Tree.